Monday, January 4, 2010

Chapter Negative One(-1): The Notification

The Twilight "Saga" has sold a mind-boggling 45 Million copies of the books penned by first time author Stephanie Meyer. Why a book like this gets attention, I don't understand. But I'm going to try. God Help me, I'm going to try. I plan on reading this virus of pop-culture obsession. Interviews with the author in Entertainment Weekly, front pages in the USA Today Entertainment section, The View bringing on whoever the main guy is, Robert Patterson. It's everywhere. It's like genital herpes. Odds are, someone you know has it, and you don't want to look at it.

Even the master of Horror, Stephen King has commented on this series.

If you've been deprived of your senses for the past year or so, Twilight has become a stimulant for all five senses. Let's see:
Sight?- Check!
Hearing?- Check! Check! (Ugh, I found another instance of audio-rape on 180 Gram Vinyl. Seriously, classic albums can't get a decent reissue, but we can have Twilight on vinyl? How many 12 year old girls know what a turntable is?)
Smell?- Check!
Taste?- Check!
Touch?- Check!

But, I can tell your saying, Yes, I see all the commercial products. But what is Twilight all about?

Good question. I don't have a frigging clue. It's about vampires. And it's about abstinence only education. And about a clumsy girl. And it's about 'forbidden fruit'. And by that I think they mean butt-sex.

I plan on dissecting the first book at least, and quite possibly the rest if I feel like I can. I'm not sure if i'll make it out of this alive, but I do have some guest bloggers to help me out along the way. It may not be on the book exactly, but on some of the topics the book may raise, the Twilight obsessiveness or just something for when I need a break.

So before we start this, I'll have one more 'Pre-Reading' blog to do. I'm not looking forward to this, as I usually have a very low tolerance for flat characters, ham-fisted symbolism and a general dislike for people changing the rules of an already established archetype.

But I could be very wrong in my preconceived notions of this series. I hope that I am.
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3 comments:

  1. ErinPatriciaJanuary 5, 2010 at 5:55 PM

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

    You had better finish this! This is going to be my favorite blog of the year.

    Also, you have to get thru to the last book, I wont spoil you on why, but your head will esplode.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MowJanuary 8, 2010 at 11:38 AM

    I fear his head will explode just after a few pages, leaving him unable to read any more. But if this is not the case, I am pro: AJ-reads-the-entire-twilight-saga blog. Because: What's the point in reading the first and the last book of something, and not the ones inbetween? :p

    Oh well, I guess there's my sadism coming out.

    BUT I WANT THIS TO BE FINISHED BECAUSE I LOVE IT ALREADY.

    ReplyDelete
  3. FishyFishawwJanuary 13, 2010 at 2:45 PM

    I don't follow any blogs.

    After reading Chapter -1 I am ready to change that.

    ReplyDelete

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